This
has been an eventful new year thus far, and many of us have had to sort out for
ourselves how we process what we witness in our country.
Our children also will have
questions - even if they do not seem to notice present current events. Here are
some quick guidelines:
·
Make sure you are calm and have time for a
chat - no need to get anyone else upset if we are not ready to talk!
·
Pick a good time and place - sitting down,
maybe sharing a snack, all electronics turned off...
·
Ask your child what they know already - it's
good to start from their knowledge base. If they know nothing, take a moment
and think if you want to proceed at that time...
·
Answer any questions and clear up any factual
confusion as best you can. Try to stick to "directly observable data" (as my
graduate school professor drilled into me!) and avoid judgment.
·
Assure them - if they are upset - that you
and your family are safe and can hope to remain safe. Choose to embody love
rather than fear.
·
Remind them that we are a nation of laws and
that our political system has checks and balances to allow for peaceful
transitions when there is turmoil.
·
Avoid inflammatory comments and blame -
people have been acting on their own belief systems, and at the very least we
can honor the integrity of those with whom we disagree.
·
Let them know that you are always available
to talk.
Sometimes it's also good to
remind our children - and ourselves - what it means to be good citizens in out
homes, our communities, and our nation. I have often turned to Robert Fulghum's
book, All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten. Here are some
of his suggestions for "the right was to behave":
·
Share everything.
·
Be aware of wonder.
·
Play fair.
·
Don't hit people.
·
Put things back where you found them.
·
Clean up your own mess.
·
Don't take things that aren't yours.
·
Say you're sorry when you hurt someone.
·
Wash your hands before you eat.
·
Take a nap every afternoon.
·
Live a balanced life: learn some and think
some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day.
As always, I leave you with this
choice: we can raise our children to be fearful of life or we can raise our
children with the loving awareness that each of us can help to build a better
world. A happy and blessed Valentine's Day to all!
