August 2016 Archives

Kids in tow, new to the area, and not quite sure if this is what they are looking for. What do we hope they find?

·        A parking lot full of cars with those bumper stickers we all love (you know what I mean!) as well as car seats, bike racks hanging off the back, kayaks on the roof, and windows showing the messy paraphernalia of childhood. Lots of bikes - parked in a sturdy bike rack - and evidence of families who are active and joyful in their lifestyles.

·        Welcoming signs - not just for adults - that express both the seriousness of our Quaker faith and the playfulness of the Divine in our lives. The quiet dignity of a beautiful Meeting House surrounded by the latest kids' garden projects and some leftover ornaments hanging on the trees.

·        A Friendly greeter (who is also kid-friendly) at the door who has the time (and social skills) to help these folks feel welcome - each and all of them. Name tags for all and clear signs as to where to go...

·        A First Day School room that is bright, cheerful, and age-appropriate in different ways, with other kids already there who have been taught through specific lessons and examples how to help new Friends feel welcomed and comfortable. The "curriculum" is easily accessible and the "circle of Friends" is easily widened. Adults in the room have had some training in working with children - if only a mini-workshop by a Meeting member who works with children - and the lessons are engaging and child-centered.

·        A library with resources for all - books for all ages, information for new seekers, research books for in-depth study, a clear system of organization, and a simple check-out policy.

·        Ah yes - Meeting for Worship! What to do with the kids? A loving acceptance of the distractions of childhood before they go to First Day School (or when they return from First Day School - did we explain this to our new family?) A reminder of the "spiritual equality" of all ministry in the Meeting - is it clear that we are a beloved community"? A seasoned and gathered Meeting that embraces al - and parents can sigh (their kids are safe and cared for) and settle into worship surrounded by loving acceptance.

·        A slow and gentle process of invitation to join - committees, potlucks, Bible study, or madrigal singing - with the suggestion of a "host family" to keep in touch with the new Friends.

·        A smattering of the kinds of workshops "we Quakers" do so well - AVP, Quakerism 101, Quaker Parenting, Quaker service - to let our new Friends know that we do good works that go beyond our Meeting.

·        A sense of overall well-being - we Quakers grow our meetings by attraction rather than promotion much of the time.


Here are five things every parent would do well to remember about teachers:

1)      Teaching really is "rocket science" - and brain science, too! There is research-based practice that goes into good teaching, and teachers strive to be up-to-date in the "best practices" of their field.

2)     Teaching is a calling as well as a profession. We educators feel "called" to do what we do: to provide a service to the next generation - education - that is more important than money or power for our children's future happiness.

3)     Teaching demands rigorous preparation for each day in the classroom. Today's young people - "technology natives" who have grown up with the Internet, cell phones, and social media - won't do well with old lesson plans and rote learning.

4)     Teachers are humans too - and we appreciate affirmations, respect, and constructive comments on how we are doing.

5)     There is a "learning triangle" - parent/teacher/student - and we must do our share as parents to compliment what is happening in the classroom.


AND - here are five things every teacher would do well to remember about parents:

1)      All parents want the best for their children, and sometimes this blinds us when faced with the necessary discipline that teachers must administer.

2)     Parenting is the most important work many of us will ever do, and thus we can all use the help and support of one another on this journey.

3)     We live in a culture where shame, embarrassment, and sarcasm are common in the media - we parents don't want this for our children, and our classrooms need to be safe havens that are free of these unnecessary challenges.

4)     Parents are humans too - we appreciate affirmations, respect, and constructive comments on how we are doing.

5)     There is indeed a "learning triangle" - parent/teacher/student - and we must do our share as teachers to compliment what is happening in the home.


Wishing everyone a great start to the school year...!


Shirley Chisolm - "Service is the rent we pay for the privilege of living on this earth."

Why do community service with our children?

·         It feels good:The satisfaction and pride that come from helping others are important reasons to volunteer. When you commit your time and effort to an organization or a cause you feel strongly about, the feeling of fulfillment can be endless.

·         It strengthens your communityOrganizations and agencies that use volunteers are providing important services at low or no cost to those who need them. When a community is doing well as a whole, its individuals are better off, too.

·         It can strengthen your family: Volunteerism is a great way for families to have fun and feel closer. But many people say they don't have the time to volunteer after fulfilling work and family commitments. If that's the case, try rethinking some of your free time as a family. You could select just one or two projects a year and make them a family tradition (for example, making and donating gift baskets to care facilities for the elderly around the holidays).

Community service can teach children:

A sense of responsibility: By volunteering, kids learn what it means to make and keep a commitment. They learn how to do their best and be proud of the results. But they also learn that, ultimately, we're all responsible for the well-being of our communities.

That one person can make a difference: A wonderful, empowering message for kids is that they're important enough to have an impact on someone or something else.

The benefit of sacrificeBy giving up a toy to a less fortunate child, a child learns that sometimes it's good to sacrifice. Cutting back on recreation time to help clean up a beach tells kids that there are important things besides ourselves and our immediate needs.

Tolerance: Working in community service can bring kids in touch with people of different backgrounds, abilities, ethnicities, ages, and education and income levels. They'll learn that even the most diverse individuals can be united by common values.

How to fill idle time wiselyIf kids aren't involved in traditional after-school activities, community service can be a wonderful alternative.


Adapted from KidsHealth/Nemours

We live in a time when racial tension is everywhere. Our children - who, as research has suggested, are well aware of the privilege of whiteness at an early age - learn from us adults on a daily basis. How we openly address issues of race - and live our truth in our daily lives - can help ensure that the next generation of adults can do better than we did in addressing racial injustice.

Here are five things you can keep in mind:

1)    You can model and demonstrate diversity and inclusion in your own life. Are all of your friends from the same racial group? Do you have diverse people as friends - real friends - with whom you share a meal, travel, go to the movies, hang out in the living room? Encourage your child to do the same - reach out to others, learn how different homes represent different cultures, and celebrate the mix of cultures and religions that makes us an enriched society.

2)    Take advantage of teachable moments. When children realize that not all races are not represented equally - in the media, in government, and in positions of visibility and stature - let them know that in earlier days in the USA many groups of people were seen as the "other" and as a potential menace to society: Irish, Italians, Chinese, etc. By talking about these differences - accepting color and avoiding the hypocrisy of "color-blindness" - we can come to true understanding of one another's experience. Kids can understand this as well - we are not "the same" but we are entitled to equal access to the benefits of our society.

3)    Accept the fact that "the talk" you have with your child is dependent upon your racial status: for whites it's about sex and being safe from pregnancy and disease, for people of color it's about talking to the authorities and staying alive.

4)    Realize that the biggest affirmative action program in the history of the USA - the G.I. bills after World War II that provided mortgages and education for returning G.I.'s - created the white middle class in the 1950's that many of us benefited from growing up. Whites have a long history of helping themselves with government assistance - why do we balk when this is about people of color?

5)     Remember that important conversations with our children can be difficult but necessary, The "status quo" is unacceptable to people of color - and morally untenable for all of us -   and our children have the opportunity to make things better.


John Dewey, an influential American educator of the 19th and 20th centuries, said that the goal of education is "to build a new world." May we help our children to do just that. 

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This page is an archive of entries from August 2016 listed from newest to oldest.

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