November 2015 Archives


We all know how hard it is to just sit down and talk with one another. Given how many ways there are to communicate these days, it's no wonder that face-to-face conversation can feel like a dying art form.

          Children need - as Jesse Jackson used to say - "our presence and not just our presents" - especially at this time of year! Here are some pointers for how to have a conversation with your child:

·        Listen twice as much as you speak

·        Listen like you mean it: eye contact, open body language, loving tone of voice

·        Give undivided attention (turn off the phone!)

·        Suspend judgment ("I know what you are going to we go again...this is so childish/boring/typical")

·        Avoid "interrogation"

·        Wait without interruption

·        Respect the silence - just sit together!

·        Find common ground - there certainly are places where you agree...

·        Take advantage of "captive audience" times (like riding in the car, where there is "shoulder to shoulder" intimacy rather than "face to face" intimacy)

·        Create family rituals: use a talking stick held by the speaker/share three things about your day/take turns picking a topic of conversation.

We can all benefit from one another's loving attention.  What are you waiting for?



As the holiday season approaches please consider a gift to Quaker Bolivia Link (, an organization I work with that helps to provide clean water and adequate nutrition to the Aymara people of Bolivia.


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This page is an archive of entries from November 2015 listed from newest to oldest.

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